Scuttlebutt Pipeline

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I’m sure one woman is quite pleased to hear that her husband, a pastor, was not found in the company of minors when police located him. Apparently he told his wife that he was going to Best Buy to get his computer fixed.

Uh huh, yeah he went to get something fixed alright, but it wasn’t his computer.

Police say a pastor who was reported missing from his home in western New York has been found at an Ohio strip club.

A police officer patrolling the K.C. Lounge parking lot Friday morning in the Dayton suburb of Riverside spotted out-of-state license plates on 46-year-old Craig Rhodenizer’s car.

The FBI and New York authorities had been searching for Rhodenizer, who disappeared Wednesday after telling his wife he was getting his computer fixed at Best Buy. He is the pastor of a church in Lyndonville, N.Y.

Detective Matt Sturgeon said Rhodenizer was disoriented when confronted by police and said he felt “emotionally guilty.” (source)

Am I the only one who is curious to know why the FBI were involved in this missing person case? Hundreds, thousands even, go missing every day but the FBI isn’t actively involved in their search, so I really have to wonder what got them involved in this.

But really, he was missing for three days and was found at a strip club in another state? Emotionally distraught? No doubt over the impending divorce proceedings.

In 1964 a riot broke out in the 7,000+ crowd that had filled the Empress Ballroom in Blackpool, England after a member spat at the Rolling Stones guitarist Brian Jones. Clearly this was not the band’s fault, they can hardly be held for the reactions of fans (and possibly non-fans) in an audience. But after the incident, the council of Blackpool enacted a ban on the Rolling Stones which forbade them from playing in Blackpool again. That ban has no been lifted:

After being banned for almost half-century from the English seaside resort, the Rolling Stones are free to perform there again, the local council said on Thursday. (source)

Please note, Peter Callow, the Blackpool council leader went on to say that, if the Rolling Stones would be willing to forgive them, they would forgive them. In other words, the ban is officially lifted Rolling Stones, but we want an apology and forgiveness from you first. Then we’ll officially give you one.

Never mind that the insult was dealt to the Stones first, and not Blackpool.

Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts, Ronnie Wood - Tell them that their act of foolishness is forgiven, that incident is behind you now and then just continue on as you have been. Who needs Blackpool? Pft!

I’m pretty sure you’ve been seeing headlines similar to the one posted above for a couple of days now. Right? Well, in case you hadn’t heard, the inventor of the egg McMuffin passed away on Tuesday.

But can he really be considered the inventor? Are you an “inventor” because you added a dish to a franchise’s menu and slapped a brand name on an already existing dish? If that’s the case, then I hear by create SmezzaPizza. It looks just like a “pepperoni pizza” but it’s not. Why? Because I put a name to it. BUWAHAHAHA!!

So now when I die, the headlines have to read “Inventor of SmezzaPizza” dies at ##”. Isn’t that how it works?

Seriously, how can this guy be the “inventor” when breakfast sandwiches had been around since he was a kid? Hell, the man might have eaten them as a kid as well. Grab a biscuit, throw some egg, sausage (or ham), and cheese on it and you’re good to go. I have family members older than he is that ate those before he “invented” them. In the article that I linked to, two people noted that McDonald’s was already serving these “egg McMuffins” before he could have possibly “invented” them.

It’s always been said that you can find anything at an auction. You’ll find those rare and hard to find items as well as the just plain strange and sometimes grotesque. Here’s one of the later:

Maiden police said the man opened up the smoker and saw what he thought was a piece of driftwood wrapped in paper. When he unwrapped it, he found a human leg, cut off 2 to 3 inches above the knee.

The smoker had been sold at an auction of items left behind at a storage facility, so investigators contacted the mother and son who had rented the space where the smoker was found.

The mother, Peg Steele, explained her son had his leg amputated after a plane crash and kept the leg following the surgery “for religious reasons” she doesn’t know much about.

(full article)

After an hour of brain wracking I still cannot pin down the religious beliefs that say you must hold on to amputated body parts. But hey, to each their own.

I wonder how traumatized the purchaser was?

Hello officer, I’d like to report a missing item of mine. You see, I had some odd pound of cocaine in a couple of backpacks and they just disappeared on me! What are you doing with those handcuffs sir?

Federal agents thought there was something fishy about Leroy Carr.

On four occasions since last December, Carr either crossed the Canadian border or was found near it with thousands of dollars in cash, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court. He also sometimes carried night vision goggles and a GPS device programmed with coordinates for a well-known drug-smuggling trail.

But Carr refused to speak with Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, and they let him go — until he called to ask if they had seen his cocaine.

(Full story)

This news article actually inspired the addition of a new category to Scuttlebutt Pipeline, Tales of Stupidity, because I’m just finding that many stupid acts. For more stories of stupidity you might want to visit Mari’s blog, which offers a week feature called Stoopid Saturday. You’ll bust a gut laughing, I promise.